I met this guy we dated and a month in I started to catch feelings and I’m sure he knew that, he said one day if I wanted more of his time and wanted to get serious that I would help him and he will help me and we can be a team and me being naive at that time I agreed.
He had an idea of me going to work in the strip club and I was all for it. It was more money and that’s what he wanted eventually the strip club money wasn’t enough for him so he wanted me to post ads (sell my body) and again I agreed (worst mistake I ever made in my life). I was terrified to even answer the calls once the phone started ringing so I’ll silenced the ringer every time is rang he just thought I wasnt getting any calls but I was. So he came up with another idea to make money which was send me to a brothel which and at this point I didn’t agree but he wasn’t having it so I went & I stayed out there for maybe 8 days or so. Business was so slow out there I barley made any money and the little money I did make I had to give the house 50% and it was the most degrading experience I’ve ever encountered I begged to come back and he bought my ticket to come back. To make a long story short things didn’t get any better. He just kept wanting more and more so I wind up dipping on him and ant seen him since…
Fast forward to today… I’ve met this wonderful amazing man that cares about my heart and soul and treats me with the upmost respect. I love and adore him soooo much. When we met I wasn’t honest about a lot of things I actually lied about everything because I was embarrassed and didn’t want to be judged which was my ego getting in the way. Knowing if I wanted this man to love me and take me serious like I wanted him to I need to tell him the truth about everything. By me not being transparent and upfront about everything it cause trust issues & lots confusion that should of never been there. Lying to anyone is not okay especially someone you love. We’re at an great space now because I eventually told the truth about everything and began to just let go and not let my past make me. I am not my past.